Well, hello there, internet!
I’ve grown tired of yelling into the black hole of “Nothing Changes,” so, I decided to yell into the internet to see if anyone can hear me. As you might have guessed, this is my first blog post & suppose this is where I should write a little introduction of myself. (Let’s just get this out of the way. Don’t worry, my posts won’t be narcissistic in the future. It’s just kind of hard to introduce yourself without using the word “I,” a few times.)
I’ve always been interested in the written word. At a young age, 10 to be precise, I lost my father to suicide and found myself writing a poem about tears. I didn’t physically cry much when he passed, so I guess that was sort of my way of crying and grieving. I never really got into great works of literature, like Shakespeare (got a C in that college class.) But I was always able to express more with the written word, than I could verbally. (A+’s in all of my Creative Writing classes. And yes, I just bragged about A+’s.)
I did a lot of writing throughout my high school and college years, as well as the few years I had taken off between the two. Songs, poems, children’s books, short stories, etc… I loved it. Just sitting down, having no idea what I would eventually be writing on that blank paper, and being able to express, or imagine, or vent.
Then I met my ex-husband. I’m still 9 credits shy of my BA in Psychology because I had found out he was having an affair and couldn’t focus on school while raising two boys myself. The boys were 2 and 4 when we split and it’s not like he ended up being the type to keep his word. So, my writing fell by the wayside with my BA.
Fast forward 7 years later… My boys are now 10 and 12, so they don’t need as much constant attention. I’m no longer working 56+ hours per week on a swing shift in a mill where I am the only female. And, I’m now remarried to a wonderful man that holds the same ideals I do. Mainly, that we are equal.
So, I now find myself with a bit more time on my hands. I’m not as stressed as I was and can actually afford myself some time to write, albeit not as much time as I would like. And I find my head flooded with ideas: Likes, passions, interests, family, friends, politics, equality, comedy, causes…. What do I write?
I guess it’s true what they say, “Write what you know.” And that statement right there, so simple, yet so complex, describes what I love to do. It transcends the notion of what you know. What DO you know? What do I know?
It’s not just day to day routines, or what I do at work. It’s not secluded to those whom have travelled the world, or are well cultured. It’s not just text books and passing grades. It’s what I want. What I like. What I love. I know my interests, my mate’s interests, my children’s interests. And while I may not know everything about some of those, I know enough to get started.
I will write what I know, and that’s what I’m exploring. Who I am, who I’ve been, who I will be… Because I know that I’m not done. I know I enjoy learning and that I don’t ever want to finish growing. I know that I will learn more from others and that I will learn things on my own. And, I can almost bet that I will learn something from this whole process as well.
I know I want to be a person, not just a woman. A name that rolls off the tongue and doesn’t stick out as, “one of XX many females.” I want to be an advocate and share what I’m passionate about. I want to make sure that certain things are taken seriously.
I also want to keep humor alive. It’s a delicate line to walk, but I’m going to try. Everybody is sensitive about something, and I can be overly empathetic at times. But sometimes, you just HAVE TO LAUGH.
Humor is why I’m so grateful for my family. It may look like I’m outnumbered from outside our fishbowl with a husband and two sons, but what people don’t know is that I am 1 of 4 Feminists that live under this roof. And that my husband and I are in an EQUAL union of marriage. This hasn’t always been the case for me, but I am finally happy with an equal partnership and children that know it. And they are hilarious.
I’m going to end my first blog here. This is a big step for me, putting myself out in the open. But I think because I’ve been silenced for so long, it’s time for me to start making some noise. (And I’ll share some of my art along the way.😁)
Wishing you all peace, love & light,