Feminism: It’s Not Such A Bad Word

I grew up in the 80’s & 90’s, after the bra burners, but when my single mom watched The Golden Girls. I knew from a very young age that women were a force to be reckoned with. They could do anything they wanted. I mean, there was going to be a female teacher going into outer-space with the astronauts. But tragically, she would never make it.

As I absorbed everything around me, I never once thought that men helped women for any other reason than because they needed it at that moment, and the women would be helping the man with the same task. I thought they helped because they wanted to be a nice human being, not just to “respect females” because we are such delicate flowers. Of course, that was also at the age I thought all cats were girls & all dogs were boys.

I watched some romantic comedies, but mostly was enthralled with the Police Academy movies. I remember tuning to channel 2 every morning before school when we first got cable & received free HBO for 6 months. I’d get my fill of the jokes, pranks, and fart noises before the bus arrived in the morning. But I also got inclusion. The way my young mind wrapped around the Police Academy series was that there were all types of people, different genders, ethnicities & backgrounds, and they always worked together.

My step dad was an avid hunter and taught me how to shoot a .22 caliber rifle when I was a pre teen. That was another thing that had solidified my knowledge of gender equality, though I didn’t realize it at the time. That wouldn’t be the last time I shot a gun either. Target practice can be quite fun.

Throughout school I was shy, yet opinionated. If someone struck up a conversation with me, I would speak my mind, but I wouldn’t seek out that conversation. Because of that, along with typical high school drama, hormones, sports & musicals, I never really confronted anyone that didn’t eventually back down. I didn’t realize that ignoring facts like men’s vs women’s wages was helping to silence me, and my fellow females.

The thing you have to understand about me is that I can be stubborn, to a fault. I remember vividly, telling my mom that Grape Nuts cereal looked good on a commercial once and I wanted to try it. She told me I wouldn’t like it, but I persisted. After months of bugging my mom she finally caved. Turns out, she was right. It was gross. Yes, that stubbornness can come in handy when I’m having it out with my 9 yr old over brushing his teeth before bed, but if it isn’t recognized at it’s faults, it can hinder your own growth.

So, when it came to sticking up for MY fair treatment, and that of females I knew, based on my own observations of what I was currently going through, you bet your ass I was vocal. But I wasn’t interested in politics. I would dodge a political conversation like it was a ball coming at me in the game. People would get heated and start pulling political arguments and I would walk away. I didn’t like politics, so I knew nothing.

When I started working at a paper mill, as the only female on the production floor, I had a wake up call. These guys were political. And most of them were chauvinistic and expected their women barefoot & pregnant in the kitchen. I was an anomaly to them, and they weren’t going to be quiet about it. If I wanted to beat these guys and be heard, I needed to know things they knew. (Or thought they knew.)

I’m still a novice in politics, but I know enough to know what’s right and wrong. I know my beliefs and know who shares those beliefs. I know that not everyone is going to have the same ideas of how to fix things, but I see that the way things are right now, it’s just all finger pointing. He said this and they said that. These guys are doing this and those guys are doing that.

When I started looking into women’s rights and equalities, I found some information that pissed me off. The wage gap, for instance, that I had always turned a blind eye to. It’s right there in front of us. And it’s not the only thing that’s wrong.

Being in that mill, I witnessed gender based discrimination and harassment all the time. This was not men being polite and respecting women. This was downright degrading, silencing, and oppressing women. It made a person not want to show up to work, even though (s)he loved the job.

Then, of course, there’s all the sexual assault allegations everywhere. And, no, not just against men by women, but men have been assaulted too. As well as the trans community. But I can only speak on what I’ve experienced. Please just know I support you all too.
Only 84 of the 434 government seats in the US are seated by women. That’s only 19%. Nearly three quarters of our government is made up of men, while women make up 51% of the entire US population. How is that fair representation? (I’ll provide sources in comments upon request.)

When I take a step back and think about how I want to leave this country for my boys, it is a stark contrast to what we currently have. What do I want to leave for them? I have to take into account all of this: wage gaps, gender oppression, civil rights & liberties, humanitarian rights, ethics & morals, protection, and financial planning.

So here’s what I want to leave for my children and for yours:
I want to see more women running for office, going to Hollywood, trying out for the football team, doing what they love no matter what a man says, and reaching for their dreams. And I want to see men standing next to them, working WITH them and not overshadowing them. I want men to be happy with equality the way my husband is. I want the right to choose, the right to be happy and for future generations to have that as well. I want our children to use their brains together, to achieve more, rather than thinking one is superior to the other.
I want to take the words “Feminism” & “Feminist” back. Because when you really think about it, they’re not such bad words.